My Goals (as seen on my fridge)

Years ago, I decided to put pen to paper and record all of the quirky, earnest and somewhat absurd things I had decided since late childhood that I wanted to do at some point in my life. These are my goals.

The probability of these things actually happening varies widely— indeed some are extremely attainable, or have been done already and likewise, some don’t have a hope in hell of happening.

Nonetheless, after I created this list, I eventually printed off a copy and posted it to my fridge where it’s become a surprisingly wonderful conversation starter during large-scale gatherings when invariably, some of the group finds themselves loitering in the kitchen.

Anyways, I love this list. I find sometimes while grabbing something from the fridge I’ll catch a glance of a particular goal and I’ll remember back to its inspiration. I’ve had friends say they’d like to create a similar list of their own so I thought it appropriate, on a website vainly dedicated to myself, to post the list here.

Maybe it’ll inspire a list of your own.

My Goals

❒	Be dictator of a tiny island-nation
❒	Join or found a country club or social club
❒	Own a vintage wooden boat
❒	Own multiple passports
❒	Own a car in North America with European plates
✔	Own a Flagpole
❒	Own an interest in a sports franchise
✔	Pretend to be a doctor
❒	Own an interest in a racehorse
❒	Be known as ’David Keen, Esq.’
❒	Start a charitable foundation
❒	Visit Algiers
❒	Live in New York or San Francisco
❒	Retire to Spain or France
❒	Testify in front of U.S. congress
❒	Own personalized stationery
❒	Coin a popular phrase
❒	Host a black-tie function
❒	Represent someone in court
❒	Have a wing of a building dedicated to me
✔	Earn Peerage (Earlship or Viscountcy, maybe?)
✔	Own a safe
❒	Design and build a house
❒	Design a typeface
❒	Own a home with outbuildings (non-garage)
❒	Play the Old Course at St. Andrews
❒	Own season tickets to a favourite sports team
❒	Publish a coffee table book about warning signs
✔	Manage a football club or baseball team
❒	Own ID under an alias
❒	Own a safehouse
❒	Go big-game hunting
✔	Meet and disparage a player from a disliked team
❒	Bring down the catholic school system
❒	Run with the bulls
❒	Torch and abandon a car or truck
❒	Have a team of professionals at my disposal: A lawyer An accountant A private investigator
❒	Own a South American footballer’s playing rights
❒	Go marlin fishing in the Florida Keys
❒	Go on a stakeout
❒	Be on a board of directors
❒	Live in a hotel for at least one month
❒	Own a Diner’s Club credit card
❒	Wait for a flight in an airport lounge
❒	Wait outside prison gates for a friend’s release
❒	Have a bench plaque in Charles Schurz Park
✔	See a movie alone
❒	Die while hunting bears using only a knife