My Goals (as seen on my fridge)

Years ago, I decided to put pen to paper and record all of the quirky, earnest and somewhat absurd things I had decided since late childhood that I wanted to do at some point in my life. These are my goals.

T

he probability of these things actually happening varies widely— indeed some goals are extremely attainable, or have been done already and likewise, some don’t have a hope in hell of happening. Nonetheless, after I created this list, I eventually printed off a copy and posted it to my fridge where it’s become a surprisingly wonderful conversation starter during large-scale gatherings at my home when invariably, some of the group finds themselves loitering in the kitchen.

Anyways, I love this list. I find sometimes while grabbing something from the fridge I’ll catch a glance of a particular goal and I’ll remember back to its inspiration. I’ve had friends say they’d like to create a similar list of their own so I thought it appropriate, on a website rather vainly dedicated to my musings, to post the list. Maybe it’ll inspire a list of your own.

MY GOALS
Be dictator of a tiny island-nation
Join or found a country club or social club
Own a vintage wooden boat
Own multiple passports
Own a car in North America with European plates
Own a Flagpole
Own an interest in a sports franchise
Pretend to be a doctor
Own an interest in a racehorse
Be known as ’David Keen, Esq.’
Start a charitable foundation
Visit Algiers
Live in New York or San Francisco
Retire to Spain or France
Testify in front of U.S. congress
Own personalized stationery
Coin a popular phrase
Host a black-tie function
Represent someone in court
Have a wing of a building dedicated to me
Earn Peerage (Earlship or Viscountcy, maybe?)
Own a safe
Design and build a house
Design a typeface
Own a home with outbuildings(non-garage)
Play the Old Course at St. Andrews
Own season tickets to a favourite sports team
Publish a coffee table book about warning signs
Manage a football club or baseball team
Own ID under an alias
Own a safehouse
Go big-game hunting
Meet and disparage a player from a disliked team
Bring down the catholic school system
Run with the bulls
Torch and abandon a car or truck
Have a team of professionals at my disposal:

  • A lawyer
  • An accountant
  • A private investigator
Own a South American footballer’s playing rights
Go marlin fishing in the Florida Keys
Go on a stakeout
Be on a board of directors
Live in a hotel for at least one month
Own a Diner’s Club credit card
Wait for a flight in an airport lounge
Wait outside prison gates for a friend’s release
Have a bench plaque in Charles Schurz Park
See a movie alone
Die by hunting bears using only a knife