My Goals
(as seen on my fridge)

Years ago, I decided to put pen to paper and record all of the quirky, earnest and somewhat absurd things I had decided since late childhood that I wanted to do at some point in my life. These are my goals1.
T

he probability of these things actually happening varies widely— indeed some goals are extremely attainable, or have been done already and likewise, some don’t have a hope in hell of happening. Nonetheless, after I created this list, I eventually printed off a copy and posted it to my fridge where it’s become a surprisingly wonderful conversation starter during large-scale gatherings at my home when invariably, some of the group finds themselves loitering in the kitchen.

Anyways, I love this list. I find sometimes while grabbing something from the fridge I’ll catch a glance of a particular goal and I’ll remember back to its inspiration. I’ve had friends say they’d like to create a similar list of their own so I thought it appropriate, on a website rather vainly dedicated to my musings, to post the list. Maybe it’ll inspire a list of your own.

My Goals
Be dictator of a tiny island-nation
Join or found a country club or social club
❒  Own a vintage wooden boat
❒  Own multiple passports
❒  Own a car in North America with European plates
goal-completed-check Own a Flagpole
❒  Own an interest in a sports franchise
goal-completed-check Pretend to be a doctor
❒  Own an interest in a racehorse
Be known as ’David Keen, Esq.’
Start a charitable foundation
❒  Visit Algiers
❒  Live in New York or San Francisco
❒  Retire to Spain or France
❒  Testify in front of U.S. congress
❒  Own personalized stationery
Coin a popular phrase
❒  Host a black-tie function
❒  Represent someone in court
❒  Have a wing of a building dedicated to me
❒  Earn Peerage (Earlship or Viscountcy, maybe?)
goal-completed-check Own a safe
❒  Design and build a house
❒  Design a typeface
Own a home with outbuildings (non-garage)
❒  Play the Old Course at St. Andrews
❒  Own season tickets to a favourite sports team
❒  Publish a coffee table book about warning signs
goal-completed-check Manage a football club or baseball team
❒  Own ID under an alias
❒  Own a safehouse
❒  Go big-game hunting
goal-completed-check Meet and disparage a player from a disliked team
Bring down the catholic school system
Run with the bulls
Torch and abandon a car or truck
Have a team of professionals at my disposal:

  • A lawyer
  • An accountant
  • A private investigator
Own a South American footballer’s playing rights
Go marlin fishing in the Florida Keys
Go on a stakeout
Be on a board of directors
Live in a hotel for at least one month
Own a Diner’s Club credit card
Wait for a flight in an airport lounge
Wait outside prison gates for a friend’s release
Have a bench plaque in Charles Schurz Park 
goal-completed-check See a movie alone *COMPLETED JAN. 2016*
Die by hunting bears using only a knife

  1. Please don’t call it a Bucket List.

One response to “My Goals
(as seen on my fridge)

  1. Pingback: My Goals: Meet and Disparage a Disliked Player